#for me to pick 1 of. but i drew all of them teehee
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i've always really liked the parallels between sena and sakuraba in the early volumes, it remains an iconic part of the manga to me
+ 2 mini comics for friends
do not erase the caption, use or rePOST my art (reblog ok)
#my art#fan art#eyeshield 21#es21#shonen manga#sport manga#was taking requests for the mini comics and one friend gave me 5 diff scenarios#for me to pick 1 of. but i drew all of them teehee#the blush between sena and sakuraba isn't meant to be read as shippy they're just embarrassed#also to the person who wanted to see me draw sakuraba like... 2 years ago#you're welcome (but also it took forever so you prob forgot)
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forward rolls into your inbox :3
good evening.....morning.....teehee....(i am assuming you are seeing this at 9am, which in case....hope you are enjoying your breakfast! and also. wow, that is a healthy sleep schedule for an SG student newly lavishing in the freedom of the holidays.) im rewlly happy you dont mind me rolling into your inbox every day. i love doing it. seriously. like you said, it feels like using Singpost and writing letters. its part of why i love tumblr and its askboxes.
saying that youre struggling with MOE past year papers/different school papers is so damn relatable. i'm just grateful im not in pri sch anymore where teachers woukd be dispensing that shit like water at the water cooler. LMAO
youre a kazuha liker huh? my friend is too. so as a birthday present, i drew kazuha with weed on the class whiteboard once for their birthday. i knew next to nothing about his lore but their expression of utter despair was worth it.
YOU MADE YOUR PLD LOCKSCREEN TALKINGMIME?!?!?!?!? thats kinda genius too. i woukd scream and panic if i saw this in public btw. and flounder in panic and joy like a pathetic fish. blub
Im still pretty new to mcsr in general, but i actually followed an unusual pipeline into it: unlike most people being introduced via couri or feinberg, i actually entered via 21mustard.... more specufically the vid about his online friend trying to find him again. i like 21mustard and zylenox :3 and emerald (ithink), fein, mr lewis fulham, poundcake, fyroah and ofc mr mime. im still exploring though. im charmed by k4's mic peaks. it took me ages to strart putting names to faces and then voices...
as for my own speedrunning, i unfortunately do not play any noteworthy speedrunning games. however, i am currently trying to speedrun Minesweeper! its going pretty well.
as always, i hope youre doing well, whenever youre reading this. - sgmcsr anon
GOOD MORNING.. I'm replying to this a little too late (it's 12pm), but IDGAF LETS ROLL!!
I love opening inbox and answering asks, it's like. you get a silly letter every single day to answer and. i get why the people in the past really fucked w this... it's really awesome. anyway.
about MOE and exams, ohh thank god I'm not in primary school anymore, that PSLE grind was HORRIBLE. having to do like. what, 20 page papers for math (paper 1 or 2 alone!!) and all of them being really difficult questions really fucked w my brain... at least papers now are semi tolerable and I can do them 🤷 I remember in primary school my science teacher handed us like.. 5 past year papers to do over June holidays, and I was COOKED. anyway
about genshin, LMAOOOO FUCK THATS HILARIOUS... I'd be terrified too if I saw kazuha smoking a blunt for my birthday like. the aura that exudes. holy schmoly
about talkingmime, YEAH.. my PLD lock screen is actually that one silly art piece of everyone who played pico park, and on my home screen is a small talkingmime doodle... I am normal, totally! I must be normal! fun fact, my phone lock screen is silverrruns. Hehe. this photo specifically

yeah. Hehe. and my home screen is a really pretty nEmerald drawing... :3
about speedrunners THOSE ARE A BUNCHA GOOD PICKS... k4's mic peaks are legendary.. yay. NEMERALD AND FYROAH.. ohh. I love them very muchie. I even drew them. they're so skibidi to me.
about speedrunning, minesweeper speedrunning is verg cool. I've always wanted to learn how to play minesweeper... but it's always so scarrryyy... I should learn how to play it one day, on skibidi..
IM FINISHING THIS AT 1 34 PM. IM STUCK IN MATH TUITION RN. I love your singposts , thank u sg anon have a skibidi day

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tysm for the tag @sambambucky <3 <3 <3
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
27
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
193,604
3. What fandoms do you write for?
marvel (mostly sambucky but i've played around with other pairings), the magicians (penntin, queliot, wickoff), ofmd, and one black sails fic (despite that being my main fandom i guess lmao, it's so hard to write for because i can't make it better. i just have to make it worse. and boy do i have plans to make it Worse.) (also i do have an rnm fic, almost forgot about that! i would love to write more i just need the inspiration and motivation to hit at the same time lmao)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
he kisses me softly to wake me up (by a wild amount, which i think was just luck of timing with that fandom blowing up overnight) flowers for the gentleman (first published sambucky fic. looking back on it it's like... cute but could be better. natasha is in it though) held by you (felled by you) (my fav of the ofmd fics i put up, personally) what you wanted (first of my tfatws series that accompanied the show. literally wrote each fic as the episodes came out, it was so fun and idk how tf i kept up with it) hear my name in your mouth and i'm done for (hahaha. yeah.)
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
i love responding to comments hehehe! bc i love getting responses when i comment on other author's fics idk it just feels so fun! and when you notice the same people commenting on your fics idk it's just. holding hands with all of you love you sm <3
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
omg uhhhh jinx i think mine also be a samsteve one lol. stuck in the bed where we lie bc i love writing angst but i usually resolve it? but they're my favorite tragedy forever.
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
hmmm i guess after it all calms down? resolution of my tfatws series
8. Do you get hate on fics?
not on anything that's still up teehee <3
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
it's mainly what i write haha oops
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
crossover is when there are characters from two separate medias in one fic right? not like taking characters from one universe and putting them in the other? if it's the first then... no not anymore. no further questions.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
not that i know of (i'm not like... overly concerned by the idea)
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
someone once translated a teen wolf fic i wrote into russain
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
no, but i am open to the idea of collaborating like that (i've done events where i drew art to accompany a fic which was really fun and i miss that event a lot)
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
i am so so bad at picking favorites, but if you want to go by what i have the most fics and wips for it would be sambucky
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
i want to finish shores begging for big moons so badly im so sorry to everyone because. it was so so fun to write! and i had this big grand plan and knew how it would all work out and then.... i hit a wall and now it's been years and i cry for her every day. i could save her! i could do it! but i also need to reread it bc i can't remember the details anymore lmao. it's a daunting task.
16. What are your writing strengths?
i think like... rhythm if that makes sense? like i get into a groove of this is what is happening, here are the beats, this is the action and this is the dialogue and it flows so nicely and has a good rhythm to it.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
focusing. i get distracted soooo easily, what is that all about haha. ha.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
i love seeing it in fic! i'm always scared to include it bc i don't want to mess anything up, so i usually have it from another character's POV and that they don't know what's being said. which is a cop out, i know. i should probably be better about looking into translations!
19. First fandom you wrote for?
harry potter (i know. there is no need to talk about it)
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
how do i choose! tbh it's a tie between i bit the fruit and holy water. don't read into that.
absolute no pressure tags for @dr-lizortecho @unwholesome-gay @verdanthoney @nymhciv !
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end of year update.....
1&2) i did this!!!! i have so many more characters now hihihi (i made an entire spreadsheet for them btw..) stories have been going slower mainly cuz its all just in my head and not written down but!!!!!!! its there!!!!!!!
3) uhm💀 i barely drew any fanart this year LOLLLL theres like one portal drawing i did as a joke and some tf2 stuff…. but like its all doodles really nothing serious (like unless you count art of ppls ocs but this was specifically about blorbos from media i like so???) whatever i was just majorly oc brained this year maybe next year ill latch onto something teehee
4) got too busy RIPPPP idk if itll stay that way but my priorities are absolutely not here atm (and again sniffles my own characters…. )
5) i actually did learn blender!!! made a total of two (2) models for school stuffs and i know the very very basics, still have a long way to go but soooo much better than last update LOLLL
6) im pretty sure i improved… like the way i view stuff has changed and i also tried a ton of new stuff!! started a sewing project (THAT I STILL NEED TO FINISH OOOOPSSS), picked up physical paints again and like just started getting comfortable w my workflow and style :DD
i dont really have any proper goals set in mind for next year except for putting together a proper portfolio and just expanding upon what i make but having this list from last year really helped me show how much i did actually end up achieving :)

art thingys i want to do in 2024!!!
1. work more on my OCs, esp splatoon and original stories (write and draw their asses)
2. more ocs!!!
3. more drawing my sillies from the media i like
4. open commissions perhaps??? get that bread
5. learn how to use blender! important!
6. eudgdhshs improve yes yippie yoohoo
just be able to draw stuff i want in general ok thats it yayyy scheduling a reblog for this to be in a year ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#oughghg idk what the date will show on this post cuz i just edited my reminder reblog… whatever doesnt matter something something 31-12-24#raidenloml posting
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Mass Effect Retribution, a review

Mass Effect Retribution is the third book in the official Mass Effect trilogy by author Drew Karpyshyn, who happens to also be Lead Writer for Mass Effect 1 and Mass Effect 2.
I didn’t expect to pick it up, because to be very honest I didn’t expect to like it. 9 years ago I borrowed Mass Effect Revelations, and I still recall the experience as underwhelming. But this fateful fall of 2020 I had money (yay) and I saw the novel on the shelf of a swedish nerd store. I guess guilt motivated me to give the author another try: guilt, because I’ve been writing a Mass Effect fanfiction for an ungodly amount of years and I’ve been deathly afraid of lore that might contradict my decisions ever since I started -but I knew this book covered elements that are core to plot elements of my story, and I was willing to let my anxiety to the door and see what was up.
Disclaimer: I didn’t reread Mass Effect Revelation before plunging into this read, and entirely skipped Ascension. So anything in relation to character introduction and continuity will have to be skipped.
Back-cover pitch (the official, unbiased, long one)
Humanity has reached the stars, joining the vast galactic community of alien species. But beyond the fringes of explored space lurk the Reapers, a race of sentient starships bent on “harvesting” the galaxy’s organic species for their own dark purpose. The Illusive Man, leader of the pro-human black ops group Cerberus, is one of the few who know the truth about the Reapers. To ensure humanity’s survival, he launches a desperate plan to uncover the enemy’s strengths—and weaknesses—by studying someone implanted with modified Reaper technology. He knows the perfect subject for his horrific experiments: former Cerberus operative Paul Grayson, who wrested his daughter from the cabal’s control with the help of Ascension project director Kahlee Sanders. But when Kahlee learns that Grayson is missing, she turns to the only person she can trust: Alliance war hero Captain David Anderson. Together they set out to find the secret Cerberus facility where Grayson is being held. But they aren’t the only ones after him. And time is running out. As the experiments continue, the sinister Reaper technology twists Grayson’s mind. The insidious whispers grow ever stronger in his head, threatening to take over his very identity and unleash the Reapers on an unsuspecting galaxy. This novel is based on a Mature-rated video game.
Global opinion (TL;DR)
I came in hoping to be positively surprised and learn a thing or two about Reapers, about Cerberus and about Aria T’loak. I wasn’t, and I didn’t learn much. What I did learn was how cool ideas can get wasted by the very nature of game novelization, as the defects are not singular to this novel but quite widespread in this genre, and how annoyed I can get at an overuse of dialogue tags. The pacing is good and the narrative structure alright: everything else poked me in the wrong spots and rubbed how the series have always handled violence on my face with cruder examples. If I was on Good Reads, I’d probably give it something like 2 stars, for the pacing, some of the ideas, and my general sympathy for the IP novel struggle.
The indepth review continue past this point, just know there will be spoilers for the series, the Omega DLC which is often relevant, and the book itself!
What I enjoyed
Drew Karpyshyn is competent in narrative structure, and that does a lot for the pacing. Things rarely drag, and we get from one event to the next seamlessly. I’m not surprised this is one of the book’s qualities, as it comes from the craft of a game writer: pacing and efficiency are mandatory skills in this field. I would have preferred a clearer breaking point perhaps, but otherwise it’s a nice little ride that doesn’t ask a lot of effort from you (I was never tempted to DNF the book because it was so easy to read).
This book is packed with intringuing ideas -from venturing in the mind of the Illusive Man to assist, from the point of view of the victim, to Grayson’s biological transformation and assimilation into the Reaper hivemind, we get plenty to be excited for. I was personally intrigued about Liselle, Aria T’loak’s secret daughter, and eager to get a glimpse at the mind of the Queen Herself -also about how her collaboration with Cerberus came to be. Too bad none of these ideas go anywhere nor are being dealt with in an interesting way!!! But the concepts themselves were very good, so props for setting up interesting premices.
Pain is generally well described. It gets the job done.
I liked Sanak, the batarian that works as a second to Aria. He’s not very well characterized and everyone thinks he’s dumb (rise up for our national himbo), even though he reads almost smarter than her on multiple occasions, but I was happy whenever he was on the page, so yay for Sanak. But it might just be me having a bias for batarians.
Cool to have Kai Leng as a point of view character. I wasn’t enthralled by what was done with it, as he remains incredibly basic and as basically hateable and ungrounded than in Mass Effect 3 (I think he’s very underwhelming as a villain and he should have been built up in Mass Effect 2 to be effective). But there were some neat moments, such as the description of the Afterlife by Grayson who considers it as tugging at his base instincts, compared to Leng’s description of it where everything is deemed disgusting. The execution is not the best, but the concept was fun.
Pre-Reaperification Paul Grayson wasn’t the worst point of view to follow. I wasn’t super involved in his journey and didn’t care when he died one way or the other, but I empathized with his problems and hoped he would find a way out of the cycle of violence. The setup of his character arc was interesting, it’s just sad that any resolution -even negative- was dropped to focus on Reapers and his relationship with Kahlee Sanders, as I think the latter was the least interesting part.
The cover is cool and intringuing. Very soapy. It’s my favorite out of all the official novels, as it owns the cheesier aspect of the series, has nice contrasts and immediately asks questions. Very 90s/2000s. It’s great.
You may notice every thing I enjoyed was coated in complaints, because it’s a reflection of my frustration at this book for setting up interesting ideas and then completely missing the mark in their execution. So without further due, let’s talk about what I think the book didn’t do right.
1. Dumb complaints that don’t matter much
After reading the entire book, I am still a bit confused at to why Tim (the Illusive Man’s acronym is TIM in fandom, but I find immense joy in reffering to him as just Tim) wants his experimentation to be carried out on Grayson specifically, especially when getting to him is harder than pretty much anyone else (also wouldn’t pushing the very first experiments on alien captives make more sense given it’s Cerberus we’re talking about?). It seem to be done out of petty revenge, which is fine, but it still feels like quite the overlook to mess with a competent fighter, enhance him, and then expect things to stay under control (which Tim kind of doesn’t expect to, and that’s even weirder -why waste your components on something you plan to terminate almost immediately). At the same time, the pettiness is the only characterization we get out of Tim so good I guess? But if so, I wished it would have been accentuated to seem even more deliberate (and not have Tim regret to see it in himself, which flattens him and doesn’t inform the way he views the world and himself -but we’ll get to that).
I really disliked the way space travel is characterized. And that might be entirely just me, and perhaps it doesn’t contradict the rest of the lore, but space travel is so fast. People pop up left and right in a matter of hours. At some point we even get a mention of someone being able to jump 3 different Mass Relays and then arrive somewhere in 4 hours. I thought you first had to discharge your ship around a stellar object before being able to engage in the next jump (and that imply finding said object, which would have to take more than an hour). It’s not that big of a deal, but it completely crammed this giant world to a single boulevard for me and my hard-science-loving tastes. Not a big deal, but not a fan at all of this choice.
You wouldn’t believe how often people find themselves in a fight naked or in their underwear. It happens at least 3 times (and everyone naked survives -except one, we’ll get to her later).
Why did I need to know about this fifteen year’s old boner for his older teacher. Surely there were other ways to have his crush come across without this detail, or then have it be an actual point of tension in their relationship and not just a “teehee” moment. Weird choice imo.
I’m not a fan of the Talons. I don’t find them interesting or compelling. There is nothing about them that informs us on the world they live in. The fact they’re turian-ruled don’t tell us anything about turian culture that, say, the Blue Suns don’t tell us already. It’s a generic gang that is powerful because it is. I think they’re very boring, in this book and in the Omega DLC alike (a liiittle less in the DLC because of Nyreen, barely). Not a real criticism, I just don’t care for them at all.
I might just be very ace, but I didn’t find Anderson and Kahlee Sanders to have much chemistry. Same for Kahlee and Grayson (yes we do have some sort of love-triangle-but-not-really, but it’s not very important and it didn’t bother me much). Their relationships were all underwhelming to me, and I’ll explain why in part 4.
The red sand highs are barely described, and very safely -probably not from a place of intimate knowledge with drugs nor from intense research. Addiction is a delicate topic, and I feel like it could have been dealt with better, or not be included at all.
There are more of these, but I don’t want to turn this into a list of minor complaints for things that are more a matter of taste than craft quality or thematic relevance. So let’s move on.
2. Who cares about aliens in a Mass Effect novel
Now we’re getting into actual problems, and this one is kind of endemic to the Mass Effect novels (I thought the same when I read Revelation 9 years ago, though maybe less so as Saren in a PoV character -but I might have forgotten so there’s that). The aliens are described and characterized in the most uncurious, uninspired manner. Krogans are intimidating brutes. Turians are rigid. Asaris are sexy. Elcors are boring. Batarians are thugs (there is something to be said with how Aria’s second in command is literally the same batarian respawned with a different name in Mass Effect 2, this book, then the Omega DLC). Salarians are weak nerds. (if you allow me this little parenthesis because of course I have to complain about salarian characterization: the only salarian that speaks in the book talks in a cheap ripoff of Mordin’s speech pattern, which sucks because it’s specific to Mordin and not salarians as a whole, and is there to be afraid of a threat as a joke. This is SUCH a trope in the original trilogy -especially past Mass Effect 1 when they kind of give up on salarians except for a few chosen ones-, that salarians’ fear is not to be taken seriously and the only salarians who are to be considered don’t express fear at all -see Mordin and Kirrahe. It happens at least once per game, often more. This is one of the reasons why the genophage subplot is allowed to be so morally simple in ME3 and remove salarians from the equation. I get why they did that, but it’s still somewhat of a copeout. On this front, I have to give props to Andromeda for actually engaging with violence on salarians in a serious manner. It’s a refreshing change) I didn’t learn a single thing about any of these species, how they work, what they care about in the course of these 79750 words. I also didn’t learn much about their relationships to other species, including humans. I’ll mention xenophobia in more details later, but this entire aspect of the story takes a huge hit because of this lack of investment of who these species are.
I’ve always find Mass Effect, despite its sprawling universe full of vivid ideas and unique perspectives, to be strangely enamoured with humans, and it has never been so apparent than here. Only humans get to have layers, deserving of empathy and actual engagement. Only their pain is real and important. Only their death deserve mourning (we’ll come back to that). I’d speculate this comes from the same place that was terrified to have Liara as a love interest in ME1 in case she alienated the audience, and then later was surprised when half the fanbase was more interested in banging the dinosaur-bird than their fellow humans: Mass Effect often seem afraid of losing us and breaking our capacity for self-projection. It’s a very weird concern, in my opinion, that reveals the most immature, uncertain and soapy parts of the franchise. Here it’s punched to eleven, and I find it disappointing. It also have a surprising effect on the narrative: again, we’ll come back to that.
3. The squandered potential of Liselle and Aria
Okay. This one hurts. Let’s talk about Liselle: she’s introduced in the story as a teammate to Grayson, who at the time works as a merc for Aria T’loak on Omega, and also sleeps with him on the regular. She likes hitting the Afterlife’s dancefloor: she’s very admired there, as she’s described as extremely attractive. One night after receiving a call from Grayson, she rejoins him in his apartment. They have sex, then Kai Leng and other Cerberus agents barge in to capture Grayson -a fight break out (the first in a long tradition of naked/underwear fights), and both of them are stunned with tranquilizers. Grayson is to be taken to the Illusive Man. Kai Leng decides to slit Liselle’s throat as she lays unconscious to cover their tracks. When Aria T’loak and her team find her naked on a bed, throat gaping and covered in blood, Liselle is revealed, through her internal monologue, to be Aria’s secret daughter -that she kept secret for both of their safety. So Liselle is a sexpot who dies immediately in a very brutal and disempowered manner. This is a sad way to handle Aria T’loak’s daughter I think, but I assume it was done to give a strong motivation to the mother, who thinks Grayson did it. And also, it’s a cool setup to explore her psyche: how does she feel about business catching up with her in such a personal manner, how does she feel about the fact she couldn’t protect her own offspring despite all her power, what’s her relationship with loss and death, how does she slip when under high emotional stress, how does she deal with such a vulnerable position of having to cope without being able to show any sign of weakness... But the book does nothing with that. The most interesting we get is her complete absence of outward reaction when she sees her daughter as the centerpiece of a crime scene. Otherwise we have mentions that she’s not used to lose relatives, vague discomfort when someone mentions Liselle might have been raped, and vague discomfort at her body in display for everyone to gawk at. It’s not exactly revelatory behavior, and the missed potential is borderline criminal. It also doesn’t even justify itself as a strong motivation, as Aria vaguely tries to find Grayson again and then gives up until we give her intel on a silver platter. Then it almost feels as if she forgot her motivation for killing Grayson, and is as motivated by money than she is by her daughter’s murder (and that could be interesting too, but it’s not done in a deliberate way and therefore it seems more like a lack of characterization than anything else).
Now, to Aria. Because this book made me realize something I strongly dislike: the framing might constantly posture her as intelligent, but Aria T’loak is... kind of dumb, actually? In this book alone she’s misled, misinformed or tricked three different times. We’re constantly ensured she’s an amazing people reader but never once do we see this ability work in her favor -everyone fools her all the time. She doesn’t learn from her mistakes and jump from Cerberus trap to Cerberus trap, and her loosing Omega to them later is laughably stupid after the bullshit Tim put her through in this book alone. I’m not joking when I say the book has to pull out an entire paragraph on how it’s easier to lie to smart people to justify her complete dumbassery during her first negotiation with Tim. She doesn’t seem to know anything about how people work that could justify her power. She’s not politically savvy. She’s not good at manipulation. She’s just already established and very, very good at kicking ass. And I wouldn’t mind if Aria was just a brutish thug who maintains her power through violence and nothing else, that could also be interesting to have an asari act that way. But the narrative will not bow to the reality they have created for her, and keep pretending her flaw is in extreme pride only. This makes me think of the treatment of Sansa Stark in the latest seasons of Game of Thrones -the story and everyone in it is persuaded she’s a political mastermind, and in the exact same way I would adore for it to be true, but it’s just... not. It’s even worse for Aria, because Sansa does have victories by virtue of everyone being magically dumber than her whenever convenient. Aria just fails, again and again, and nobody seem to ever acknowledge it. Sadly her writing here completely justifies her writing in the Omega DLC and the comics, which I completely loathe; but turns out Aria isn’t smart or savvy, not even in posture or as a façade. She’s just violent, entitled, easily fooled, and throws public tantrums when things don’t go her way. And again, I guess that would be fine if only the narrative would recognize what she is. Me, I will gently ignore most of this (in her presentation at least, because I think it’s interesting to have something pitiful when you dig a little) and try to write her with a bit more elevation. But this was a very disappointing realization to have.
4. The squandered potential of Grayson and the Reapers
The waste of a subplot with Aria and Liselle might have hurt me more in a personal way, but what went down between Grayson and the Reapers hurts the entire series in a startling manner. And it’s so infuriating because the potential was there. Every setpiece was available to create something truly unique and disturbing by simply following the series’ own established lore. But this is not what happens. See, when The Illusive Man, our dearest Tim, captures Grayson for a betrayal that happened last book (something about his biotic autistic daughter -what’s the deal with autistic biotics being traumatized by Cerberus btw), he decides to use him as the key part of an experiment to understand how Reapers operate. So he forcefully implants the guy with Reaper technology (what they do exactly is unclear) to study his change into a husk and be prepared when Reapers come for humanity -it’s also compared to what happened with Saren when he “agreed” to be augmented by Sovereign. From there on, Grayson slowly turns into a husk. Doesn’t it sound fascinating, to be stuck in the mind of someone losing themselves to unknowable monsters? If you agree with me then I’m sorry because the execution is certainly... not that. The way the author chooses to describe the event is to use the trope of mind control used in media like Get Out: Grayson taking the backseat of his own mind and body. And I haaaaate it. I hate it so much. I don’t hate the trope itself (it can be interesting in other media, like Get Out!), but I loathe that it’s used here in a way that totally contradicts both the lore and basic biology. Grayson doesn’t find himself manipulated. He doesn’t find himself justifying increasingly jarring actions the way Saren has. He just... loses control of himself, disagreeing with what’s being done with him but not able to change much about it. He also can fight back and regain control sometimes -but his thoughts are almost untainted by Reaper influence. The technology is supposed to literally replace and reorganize the cells of his body; is this implying that body and mind are separated, that there maybe exists a soul that transcends indoctrination? I don’t know but I hate it. This also implies that every victim of the Reaper is secretely aware of what they’re doing and pained and disagreeing with their own actions. And I’m sorry but if it’s true, I think this sucks ass and removes one of the creepiest ideas of the Mass Effect universe -that identity can and will be lost, and that Reapers do not care about devouring individuality and reshaping it to the whims of their inexorable march. Keeping a clear stream of consciousness in the victim’s body makes it feel like a curse and not like a disease. None of the victims are truly gone that way, and it removes so much of the tragic powerlessness of organics in their fight against the machines. Imagine if Saren watched himself be a meanie and being like “nooo” from within until he had a chance to kill himself in a near-victorious battle, compared to him being completely persuaded he’s acting for the good of organic life until, for a split second, he comes to realize he doesn’t make any sense and is loosing his mind like someone with dementia would, and needs to grasp to this instant to make the last possible thing he could do to save others and his own mind from domination. I feel so little things for Saren in the former case, and so much for the latter. But it might just be me: I’m deeply touched by the exploration of how environment and things like medication can change someone’s behavior, it’s such a painfully human subject while forceful mind control is... just kind of cheap.
SPEAKING OF THE REAPERS. Did you know “The Reapers” as an entity is an actual character in this book? Because it is. And “The Reapers” is not a good character. During the introduction of Grayson and explaining his troubles, we get presented with the mean little voice in his head. It’s his thoughts in italics, nothing crazy, in fact it’s a little bit of a copeout from actually implementing his insecurities into the prose. But I gave the author the benefit of the doubt, as I knew Grayson would be indoctrinated later, and I fully expected the little voice to slowly start twisting into what the Reapers suggested to him. This doesn’t happen, or at least not in that slowburn sort of way. Instead the little voice is dropped almost immediately, and the Reapers are described, as a presence. And as the infection progresses, what Grayson do become what the Reapers do. The Reapers have emotions, it turns out. They’re disgusted at organic discharges. They’re pleased when Grayson accomplish what they want, and it’s told as such. They foment little plans to get their puppet to point A to point B, and we are privy to their calculations. And I’m sorry but the best way to ruin your lovecraftian concept is to try and explain its motivations and how it thinks. Because by definition the unknown is scarier, smarter, and colder than whatever a human author could come up with. I couldn’t take the Reapers’ dumb infiltration plans seriously, and now I think they are dumb all the time, and I didn’t want to!! The only cases in which the Reapers influence Grayson, we are told in very explicit details how so. For example, they won’t let Grayson commit suicide by flooding his brain with hope and determination when he tries, or they will change the words he types when he tries to send a message to Kahlee Sanders. And we are told exactly what they do every time. There was a glorious occasion to flex as a writer by diving deep into an unreliable narrator and write incredibly creepy prose, but I guess we could have been confused, and apparently that’s not allowed. And all of this is handled that poorly becauuuuuse...
5. Subtext is dead and Drew killed it
Now we need to talk about the prose. The style of the author is... let’s be generous and call it functional. It’s about clarity. The writing is so involved in its quest for clarity that it basically ruins the book, and most of the previous issues are direct consequences of the prose and adjacent decisions.The direct prose issues are puzzling, as they are known as rookie technical flaws and not something I would expect from the series’ Lead Writer for Mass Effect 1 and 2, but in this book we find problems such as:
The reliance on adverbs. Example: "Breathing heavily from the exertion, he stood up slowly”. I have nothing about a well-placed adverb that gives a verb a revelatory twist, but these could be replaced by stronger verbs, or cut altogether.
Filtering. Example: “Anderson knew that the fact they were getting no response was a bad sign”. This example is particularly egregious, but characters know things, feel things, realize things (boy do they realize things)... And this pulls us away from their internal world instead of making us live what they live, expliciting what should be implicit. For example, consider the alternative: “They were getting no reponse, which was a bad sign in Anderson’s experience.” We don’t really need the “in Anderson’s experience” either, but that already brings us significantly closer to his world, his lived experience as a soldier.
The goddamn dialogue tags. This one is the worst offender of the bunch. Nobody is allowed to talk without a dialogue tag in this book, and wow do people imply, admit, inform, remark and every other verb under the sun. Consider this example, which made me lose my mind a little: “What are you talking about? Kahlee wanted to know.” I couldn’t find it again, but I’m fairly certain I read a “What is it?” Anderson wanted to know. as well. Not only is it very distracting, it’s also yet another way to remove reader interpretation from the equation (also sometimes there will be a paragraph break inside a monologue -not even a long one-, and that doesn’t seem to be justified by anything? It’s not as big of a problem than the aversion to subtext, but it still confused me more than once)
Another writing choice that hurts the book in disproportionate ways is the reliance on point of view switches. In Retribution, we get the point of view of: Tim, Paul Grayson, Kai Leng, Kahlee Sanders, David Anderson, Aria T’loak, and Nick (a biotic teenager, the one with the boner). Maybe Sanak had a very small section too, but I couldn’t find it again so don’t take my word for it. That’s too many point of views for a plot-heavy 80k book in my opinion, but even besides that: the point of view switch several times in one single chapter. This is done in the most harmful way possible for tension: characters involved in the same scene take turns on the page explaining their perspective about the events, in a way that leaves the reader entirely aware of every stake to every character and every information that would be relevant in a scene. Take for example the first negotiation between Aria and Tim. The second Aria needs to ponder what her best move could possibly be, we get thrown back into Tim’s perspective explaining the exact ways in which he’s trying to deceive her -removing our agency to be either convinced or fooled alongside her. This results in a book that goes out of his way to keep us from engaging with its ideas and do any mental work on our own. Everything is laid out, bare and as overexplained as humanly possible. The format is also very repetitive: characters talk or do an action, and then we spend a paragraph explaining the exact mental reasoning for why they did what they did. There is nothing to interpret. No subtext at all whatsoever; and this contributes in casting a harsh light on the Mass Effect universe, cheapening it and overtly expliciting some of its worst ideas instead of leaving them politely blurred and for us to dress up in our minds. There is only one theme that remains subtextual in my opinion. And it’s not a pretty one.
6. Violence
So here’s the thing when you adapt a third person shooter into a novel: you created a violent world and now you will have to deal with death en-masse too (get it get it I’m so sorry). But while in videogames you can get away with thoughtless murder because it’s a gameplay mechanic and you’re not expected to philosophize on every splatter of blood, novels are all about internalization. Violent murder is by definition more uncomfortable in books, because we’re out of gamer conventions and now every death is actual when in games we just spawned more guys because we wanted that level to be a bit harder and on a subconscious level we know this and it makes it somewhat okay. I felt, in this book, a strange disconnect between the horrendous violence and the fact we’re expected to care about it like we would in a game: not much, or as a spectacle. Like in a game, we are expected to root for the safety of named characters the story indicated us we should be invested in. And because we’re in a book, this doesn’t feel like the objective truth of the universe spelled at us through user interface and quest logs, but the subjective worldview of the characters we’re following. And that makes them.... somewhat disturbing to follow.
I haven’t touched on Anderson and Kahlee Sanders much yet, but now I guess I have too, as they are the worst offenders of what is mentioned above. Kahlee cares about Grayson. She only cares about Grayson -and her students like the forementioned Nick, but mostly Grayson. Grayson is out there murdering people like it’s nobody’s business, but still, keeping Grayson alive is more important that people dying like flies around him. This is vaguely touched on, but not with the gravitas that I think was warranted. Also, Anderson goes with it. Because he cares about Kahlee. Anderson organizes a major political scandal between humans and turians because of Kahlee, because of Grayson. He convinces turians to risk a lot to bring Cerberus down, and I guess that could be understandable, but it’s mostly manipulation for the sake of Grayson’s survival: and a lot of turians die as a result. But not only turians: I was not comfortable with how casually the course of action to deal a huge blow to Cerberus and try to bring the organization down was to launch assault on stations and cover-ups for their organization. Not mass arrests: military assault. They came to arrest high operatives, maybe, but the grunts were okay to slaughter. This universe has a problem with systemic violence by the supposedly good guys in charge -and it’s always held up as the righteous and efficient way compared to these UGH boring politicians and these treaties and peace and such (amirite Anderson). And as the cadavers pile up, it starts to make our loveable protagonists... kind of self-centered assholes. Also: I think we might want to touch on who these cadavers tend to be, and get to my biggest point of discomfort with this novel.
Xenophobia is hard to write well, and I super sympathize with the attempts made and their inherent difficulty. This novel tries to evoke this theme in multiple ways: by virtue of having Cerberus’ heart and blade as point of view characters, we get a window into Tim and Kai Leng’s bigotry against aliens, and how this belief informs their actions. I wasn’t ever sold in their bigotry as it was shown to us. Tim evokes his scorn for whatever aliens do and how it’s inferior to humanity’s resilience -but it’s surface-level, not informed by deep and specific entranched beliefs on aliens motives and bodies, and how they are a threat on humanity according to them. The history of Mass Effect is rich with conflict and baggage between species, yet every expression of hatred is relegated to a vague “eww aliens” that doesn’t feed off systemically enforced beliefs but personal feelings of mistrust and disgust. I’ll take this example of Kai Leng, and his supposedly revulsion at the Afterlife as a peak example of alien decadence: he sees an asari in skimpy clothing, and deems her “whorish”. And this feels... off. Not because I don’t think Kai Leng would consider asaris whorish, but because this is supposed to represent Cerberus’ core beliefs: yet both him and Tim go on and on about how their goal is to uplift humanity, how no human is an enemy. But if that’s the case, then what makes Kai Leng call an Afterlife asari whorish and mean it in a way that’s meaningfully different from how he would consider a human sex worker in similar dispositions? Not that I don’t buy that Cerberus would have a very specific idea of what humans need to be to be considered worth preserving as good little ur-fascists, but this internal bias is never expressed in any way, and it makes the whole act feel hollow. Cerberus is not the only offender, though. Every time an alien expresses bias against humans in a way we’re meant to recognize as xenophobic, it reads the same way: as personal dislike and suspicion. As bullying. Which is such a small part of what bigotry encompasses. It’s so unspecific and divorced from their common history that it just never truly works in my opinion. You know what I thought worked, though? The golden trio of non-Cerberus human characters, and their attitude towards aliens. Grayson’s slight fetishism and suspicion of his attraction to Liselle, how bestial (in a cool, sexy way) he perceives the Afterlife to be. The way Anderson and Kahlee use turians for their own ends and do not spare a single thought towards those who died directly trying to protect them or Grayson immediately after the fact (they are more interested in Kahlee’s broken fingers and in kissing each other). How they feel disgust watching turians looting Cerberus soldiers, not because it’s disrespectful in general and the deaths are a inherent tragedy but because they are turians and the dead are humans. But it's not even really on them: the narration itself is engrossed by the suffering of humans, but aliens are relegated to setpieces in gore spectacles. Not even Grayson truly cares about the aliens the Reapers make him kill. Nobody does. Not even the aliens among each other: see, once again, Aria and Liselle, or Aria and Sanak. Nobody cares. At the very end of the story, Anderson comes to Kahlee and asks if she gives him permission to have Grayson’s body studied, the same way Cerberus planned to. It’s source of discomfort, but Kahlee gives in as it’s important, and probably what Grayson would have wanted, maybe? So yeah. In the end the only subtextual theme to find here (probably as an accident) is how the Alliance’s good guys are not that different from Cerberus it turns out. And I’m not sure how I feel about that.
7. Lore-approved books, or the art of shrinking an expanding universe
I’d like to open the conversation on a bigger topic: the very practice of game novelization, or IP-books. Because as much as I think Drew Karpyshyn’s final draft should not have ended up reading that amateur given the credits to his name, I really want to acknowledge the realities of this industry, and why the whole endeavor was perhaps doomed from the start regardless of Karpyshyn’s talent or wishes as an author.
The most jarring thing about this reading experience is as follows: I spent almost 80k words exploring this universe with new characters and side characters, all of them supposedly cool and interesting, and I learned nothing. I learned nothing new about the world, nothing new about the characters. Now that it’s over, I’m left wondering how I could chew on so much and gain so little. Maybe it’s just me, but more likely it’s by design. Not on poor Drew. Now that I did IP work myself, I have developed an acute sympathy for anyone who has to deal with the maddening contradictions of this type of business. Let me explain.
IP-adjacent media (in the West at least) sure has for goal to expand the universe: but expand as in bloat, not as in deepen. The target for this book is nerds like me, who liked the games and want more of this thing we liked. But then we’re confronted by two major competitors: the actual original media (in ME’s case, the games) whose this product is a marketing tool for, and fandom. IP books are not allowed to compete with the main media: the good ideas are for the main media, and any meaningful development has to be made in the main media (see: what happened with Kai Leng, or how everyone including me complains about the worldbuilding to the Disney Star Swars trilogy being hidden in the novelization). And when it comes to authorship (as in: taking an actual risk with the media and give it a personal spin), then we risk introducing ideas that complicate the main media even though a ridiculously small percent of the public will be attached to it, or ideas that fans despise. Of course we can’t have the latter. And once the fandom is huge enough, digging into anything the fans have strong headcanons for already risks creating a lot of emotions once some of these are made canon and some are disregarded. As much as I joke about how in Mass Effect you can learn about any gun in excrutiating details but we still don’t know if asaris have a concept for marriage... would we really want to know how/if asaris marry, or aren’t we glad we get to be creative and put our own spin on things? The dance between fandom and canon is a delicate one that can and will go wrong. And IP books are generally not worth the drama for the stakeholders.
Add this to insane deadlines, numerous parties all involved in some way and the usual struggles of book writing, and we get a situation where creating anything of value is pretty much a herculean task.
But then I ask... why do IP books *have* to be considered canon? I know this is part of the appeal, and that removing the “licenced” part only leaves us with published fanfiction, but... yeah. Yeah. I think it could be a fascinating model. Can you imagine having your IP and hiring X amount of distinctive authors to give it their own spin, not as definitive additions to the world but as creative endeavours and authorial deepdives? It would allow for these novels to be comparative and companion to the main media instead of being weird appendages that can never compare, and the structure would allow for these stories to be polished and edited to a higher level than most fanfictions. Of course I’m biased because I have a deep belief in the power of fanfiction as commentary and conversational piece. But I would really love to see companies’ approach to creative risk and canon to change. We might get Disney stuff until we die now, so the least we can ask for is for this content to be a little weird, personal and human.
That’s it. That’s the whole review. Thank you for reading, it was very long and weirdly passionate, have a nice dayyyyy.
#Mass Effect#mass effect retribution#me critical#writing#mass effect novels#anderson#kahlee sanders#Aria T'loak#paul grayson#liselle#salarians#IP conversation#omega#mass effect lore#reapers#book review
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TsukiYachi speculations, thoughts and theories based on canonical evidence - PART 2
EDIT: Read Part 1 here
Okay following on from my original thesis, I thought I would put up a Part 2 now that I have finally caught up with the manga. And seeing as the manga is in it’s final arc (though this may take awhile to complete considering how long an arc takes), I thought I would do a final wrap up of my TsukiYachi speculations/theories up until the timeskip (final arc of the manga). If I see any other interesting stuff during the final arc, I will write a Part 3 but judging from what I have read so far, I am unsure if there will be any more details.
In saying all this, Part 2 is relatively short as the interactions between Tsukki and Yachi are non-existent minimal. So what I will do is draw on some comparisons between the earlier parts of the manga series and the arc before the timeskip. Do I make sense? My mind has been a jumble these past few months ughh
WARNING: This post contains some manga spoilers
Interactions
Following on from the Shiratorizawa arc, it’s sad to see the very minimal page time for Yachi. Tsukki still had some of his moments but there was nothing major in terms of character development. There were scenes of flashbacks that looked at comparing his development re; before vs. after but that was pretty much it.
Yachi just had a few panels of interesting facial expressions during the game.
Yeah I’m gonna put them in below even if it is irrelevant to TsukiYachi - cause Yachi is a gorgeous lil freaked out bean. And mind you, a couple these reactions involved Tsukki blocking so yeah maybe it is like 30% relevant (don’t ask me how I came to that percentage) lmao
Comparisons with Earlier and Later Chapters
I want to use the Shiratorizawa arc as the ultimate baseline for this paragraph, as this was where we saw the most (and important) TsukiYachi moments hehe. So having just caught up with the manga, I’d still like to say that Yachi’s page time over time becomes less and less. When she was first introduced to about the first quarter of the Inter High Spring Tournament prelims, we get to see quite a lot of Yachi. Then it dropped dramatically until the Shiratorizawa arc and then very, very minimal again thereafter.
Likewise on Tsukki’s end, post-Shiratorizawa we see a lot less of him (prob because his major development time has been done and dusted).
So my concluding thoughts? We don’t see anymore Tsukki character development after this arc, so the one and most important time for his growth occurred with Yachi having extra page time (yeah she makes a comeback with more page time just for this dork). Hehe, overanalysing much? Yeah I think so too but I fucking love it, cause it proves this ship ain’t no crack ship.
Again, Furudate could pick anyone to get in on the Tsukki character development commentary (he did so with Yamaguchi in the earlier parts of the manga, and considering how close Yama is to Tsukki, I would think Furudate would use him again. Or even Kiyoko! She’s the damn manager! but yeah he chose cute Yachi instead).
Post Spring Nationals (before timeskip)
YO CHECK THIS OUT! FURUDATE DREW THEM NEXT TO EACH OTHER AGAIN!
FOR THE SECOND DAMN TIME!
Cause we all know how important a panel with all them players are sitting down together and eating. The panel below was of the team after they finished up at Nationals. LOOK AT THEM! LOOK AT TSUKKI AND YACHI EATING BESIDE EACH OTHER! I can’t. I’m gonna cry tears of joy.
AND THEN THIS ONE! WHEN THEY WERE SAYING GOODBYE TO THE GRADUATING THIRD YEARS! Ughhhhhh ... look at how small Yachi is next to Tsukki. These twwwwwwooooooo <333
Furudate thank you for feeding my TsukiYachi soul. Like one panel after another. I’m gonna faint....
Extra Info on Star References
I already wrote this in my other post, but I wanted to put an image of how much Yachi loves her damn stars...HER BLANKET...AND THE LIL END OF THE SANTA HAT AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
(and Tsukki with his giant star in the manga)...I’ve lost count of how many star shirts he got in varying colours and with different star sizes lmao...

Timeskip
Not much to post here except the fact that Yachi looked adorably pretty and her star accessory migrated to her ears as earrings instead. Yeah this girl still obsessed with them stars.
So I am looking for future references whether grown up Tsukki still wearing his star shirts..or got any other...variations...
Currently awaiting for more chapters. Fingers crossed Furudate gives us more subtle references for grown up TsukiYachi teehee.
Bonus
The three lil munchkins all grown up. Lmao Tsukki looks so sass here..
Bonus Bonus
Unsure why Tanaka gotta be in this image but Tsukki and Yachi together in a merchandise promotion for Season 2
Bonus Bonus Bonus
Both these precious dorks were born in September (Yachi: September 4th, Tsukki: September 27th). They be September babies together <333
Why are these two so matching?!?!?!?!? <3
I had so much fun doing this! HAHA! The major evidence are all in the first post I wrote. So this one is just some extra materials I found along the way and whilst finally catching up in the manga.
Also, for @mimi-cee-hq because I know you will always be interested in TsukiYachi materials hehe
That’s all folks ! Peace out !
#yeaaaaaahhhhhh so i had way too much fun doing this#and i supposed to be working and not procrastinating#but tsukiyachi is life ya know?#this rarepair is unbelieveable#i don't know why furudate just damn ship them already haha#because clearly his fans are shipping them like crazy#ya'll tsukiyachi shippers should head onto pixiv and look at the tsukiyachi fanart and comics on there#can't read japanese? no problems#just look at the pictures#tis good enough#you'll get the gist#lmao#someone do a fanfic of them as uni students#or just after when they graduate from uni#cause that would be so cute#more relatable for oldies like me#i'd write it...but..i gotta finish another fanfic first#MIMI! WHERE ARE YOU?#LOL#alright alright i'll shut it for now#tsukiyachi#tsukishima kei#yachi hitoka#haikyuu#posts
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1. Where's The Girl (Reprise) from The Scarlet Pimpernel2. Journey To The Past from Anastasia!! 3. Y&Kopit Phantom, I guess?4. Someone with a good taste?..5. Dancing to the music in my earphones. 6. Omg... This one is hard. I'd love to sing something like Now from Zhivago with Jan Ammann, or something from Dracula, or Count of Monte Cristo. I'd definitely sing something composed by Drew Sarich with him :)) I want to sing with Hugh Panaro, even if it's going to be alphabet song :D Also For Good with Kaley Ann Voorhees. 7. Next To Normal8. POTO 9. Favourite person to play Graf von Krolock: Drew Sarich, Jan Ammann, Alexander Sukhanov.10. I know it's something about Hamilton but I've no idea11. A cherry pie? And call it Twin Peaks??12. Almost every number from Singing in the Rain13. How I love the orchestras!! Stage Ent has a great one.14. My favourite musical by Frank Wildhorn - probably Dracula.15. Every16. "That wouldn't work, after all, I'm a jewish vampire!" (c) Shagal in Tanz der Vampire17. Frozen on Bway?18. I used to hear "army of italians" instead of "batallions" in You'll Be Back. 19. Les Mis? They hated me for making them watch the movie.20. 1) Be a good girl and you'll be visited by the Angel of Music eventually 2) If not, Hasa Diga Eebowai 3) Belting21. Side Show!!!22. Les Miserables OBC23. In The Heights or Book of Mormon24. Let It Go by Jeremy Jordan25. 1) I fall in love with people voices2) I tend to write down my dream casts but with me as the female leading role26. I Believe from Book of Mormon27. Um. Me???28. Oooh. I want Jeremy Jordan to play my male best friend and Megan Hilty and Louise Dearman to play my female best friends. 29. Teehee. Not going to tell you. Honestly, just scroll up to question 5 and pick :) 30. Think of Me and Breathe31. Christine Daae, Sarah Shagal, Anastasia.32. Mia from La La Land.33. Another Day Of Sun34. Hmmm... not sure there is one.35. Not really sure too.36. Or my Orlando, right? London and New York.37. Prince Edward's Theatre in London!! It is sooo glorious.38. I Am The One (Reprise) in N2N39. The Light In The Piazza by Lisa Anne Wood.40. World To Me by Sarah Mann & Hugh Panaro. Whistle Down The Wind by Tina Arena.41. Anastasia
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